Aya Eden Ouroboros' Birth Sigil

The Sweetest Thing I've Ever Known

Ah, my brain is finally beginning to fire at an acceptable rate again, post-Detroit Urban Craft Fair.

Sometimes I wish we were filming a documentary or were on some bizzaro reality TV show. Only for the fact that I'd love to be able to share just how intense our life can become and how Angela, with solid intention, weaves it all together. The fact that, going into our third-trimester, she orchestrated a catering job of this size is phenomenal to me. Now, don't take me as chauvinist, I know that many women work their butts off throughout their pregnancy. That being said, there's a requisite focus and stamina to executing a large catering gig like DUCF, and I am again in awe of Angela's ability. Of course, I'd be jaw-dropped at her execution of this project even if we were not pregnant. So, we appear to be in some strange bonus round of Wide Eyed Awe with the baby on the way!

Speaking of Wide Eyed Awe and Aya, or little one, which I've taken to using. I think I've discovered one of the most sublime experiences in my life, and I've specialized in sublimity. Angela has been favoring sleep on her left and we've ended up shifting our positions so that she ends up spooning me. It's been quite cold here in Detroit so we've been snuggling up tightly. It is the sweetest thing I have ever known is to be snug up to Angela and to feel little one kicking and moving cradled between our two bodies. It's a sweetness with great depth, a very mystical depth.

I thrill in waking in the middle of the night in this position to allow my mind to vacillate between meditation and dreamspace. The shifts between these two states being driven by little one's heels and elbows as they thrust into my stomach. I find my awareness drawn to so many of the concepts and ideas I've worked with in the past. It does not surprise that so much of our wisdom and knowledge, not only stems from, but IS birth, regeneration, replication and so on. But, it does surprise that, though I thought I understood them, I didn't really get it until these recent late night sessions with Aya.

Of late, both in these session and in my waking mediation, I've been drawn towards the Tetragrammaton (Greek: τετραγράμματον word with four letters) is the Hebrew name for God, which is spelled (in Hebrew); י (yod) ה (heh) ו (waw) ה (heh) or יהוה (YHWH), it is the distinctive personal name of the God of Israel. Now, please bear in mind that my knowledge of Qabalah is rudimentary. In my teens, I assume like most studying esoterica, I professed a certain understanding of this mystical tradition. I did know a few things back then, but it is my continuous experiential work, now through yoga and shamanism, that has brought a few massive abstractions, like Tetragrammaton, to light.

For time's sake, I'll use this acceptable model from the Thelemapedia:

• The letter Yod is the first letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the father, who is Wisdom; he is the highest form of Mercury, and the logos, the creator of all worlds. Accordingly, his representative in physical life is the spermatozoon.

• The letter He is the second letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the mother, who is Understanding; the Universe is here resolved into its ultimate elements. Accordingly, his representative in physical life is the ovule.

• The letter Vau is the third letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the son, who is the personification of Beauty; an interpretation of the father in terms of the mind.

• The letter He serves double duty, and so it is too, the fourth letter of the name Tetragrammaton. This symbolizes the daughter, who is the Kingdom; the Universe as manifested to our physical senses.

Now, this all seems very blase and Old Aeon, but basically what we are talking about here is the Tetragrammaton being a structural formula that is reflected in all aspects of this material construct, capiche? The father-mother and son-daughter dualism help us to tune into the nature of the structure itself. Insert a duality of your choice though, it's going to follow the same pattern of regeneration. A few of you have heard me speak of dualism as a vehicle or engine and this connection to Tetragrammaton may give us a jumping point for more revealing conversations.

So, that's a bit of what I find myself wrapped around as we lay with little one in the midst of manifestation between us. I'll share more as it comes and time permits. Blessings, Gregg

In Utero Yoga With Aya

What a beautiful morning! I've propped myself up here in the Lab kitchen so that I can have the full view of the Detroit skyline as the sun rises. One of my favorite things in the world is to sit here on a crisp morning with a cup of hot coffee & hemp milk and write. In fact, I'm behind on a deadline for an article on Ahimsa for PLAY Magazine, but I simply need some "me" writing time before I get to it.

Of course, "me" writing time these days typically means writing about Angela and Aya. I'm loosing track of weeks because they are going so quickly. I want to say we're now at week 25? I do know that I'm obsessed. I feel like I should just issue forth a notice of apology for my fixation on Aya and his/her development and influence upon my world. If you thought I was obsessive about yoga, music, India, spirituality, art, 2012, or whatever the flavor of the month was, you haven't seen anything yet.

I've spent the majority of my life around childless couples and single guys. My path took me far from the graduate from high school, go to college, get married and have kids genre of being. I'm about to turn 39 and I'm so blessed to have taken the path less traveled as I feel totally set up to experience this transition in a way I never would have in my 20's. I'm also blessed to be in a position where I can take the time to get up at 3 and 7 am every morning and meditate and work with Aya while s/he goes through what appears to be an in utero yoga sequence.

I'm so thankful that I took the time to develop my skills with energy and subtle forces as I'm now beginning to "feel" the internal activity that really isn't reaching the surface. We have a great deal of kicking and punching, but there are also shoulder rolls and the flutter of fingers and toes. Obviously, when Angela is awake, I've been working on voice recognition as well, talking to Aya and vibrating Om. Every morning as Angela and I pray and chant together, I've been focusing the energy and vibration towards the womb. I can sense Aya's receptivity to the energy and his/her energy shifts to take it in. I could go on and on.

I've been reading up on infant massage and what the first few weeks are going to be like. I know it's going to be a steady stream of development and I'm gathering the info I'll need to be active and at least one step ahead. I found this Tennessee Williams quote yesterday that speaks to that immediate yet flexible approach:

It is almost as if you were frantically constructing another world while the world that you live in dissolves beneath your feet, and that your survival depends on completing this construction at least one second before the old habitation collapses.

Of course, frantic survival depending on this motion gives it a little more weight than I'm going for, but you get the idea. I suppose this is just a stylized brazen approach to living in the moment, something we strive for here. But, I'm going to try to develop and maintain this mindset as I think it will assist me as I strive to sidestep expectation and cull the cultural drive to shape and influence this entity. I suspect that many developmental blocks stem from parents exerting their will upon the child. Much of this is unavoidable and during a culture war it eventually turns into a race to exert your influence upon the child before someone else does.

But with that said, I need to head into the Market and then put my official writing hat on.

To Be In Awe Every Day

Books for Urban Vegan Activist Fathers

Any recommendations? I started reading The Expectant Father (thanks Ethan!) and though it may have information pertinent to some guys, for me it seemed steeped it irrational fears, antiquated notions of pregnancy as some form of illness, and slightly manipulative recommendations on how to "deal" with your wife. I know I'm living a rather unique lifestyle but there has to be a fact based book written from the perspective of a sane healthy relationship. And yes, I believe there are such things as sane healthy relationships. We actively work to create one every day. :)

Aya, Princess of Darkness!

Fredericksburg.com - Holy competition, Batman New superhero team landing from across the globe: "LOS ANGELES--If Batman had a twin sister, her name most likely would be Aya, 'princess of darkness.'

Just like Batman's alter-ego, Bruce Wayne, Middle Eastern comic book superstar Aya launched her quest for vengeance against evil after witnessing her father's murder.

And while Batman stands vigil over Gotham City, Aya keeps watch over the City of All Faiths, which could easily pass for Jerusalem if it were ever overrun by cartoon villains."

Week Eighteen Already?

It is amazing how fast this is all going and now that we're into the second trimester, how quickly Angela's belly is growing! The picture at the right was actually taken 2 weeks ago and I swear Aya is growing more quickly everyday. Well, I know that's the case as that's what happens.

For the past few days I've been posting regularly in my personal blog, Detroit As A Portal, but we both need to get cranking on this blog too. We're rescheduling many Lab activities and output so that we have more time to document and enjoy Aya's gestation. From my end of things, I can't express how incredibly lucky I am to be here with Angela through this entire process. It is awesome to be at this second by second and not miss a beat. We're very blessed and thank everyone who has helped us to create this.

Look for more here soon, we promise!

Life in the Lab - Thank You!

Angela enjoys a moment of calm baby study in the Lab.

I adore this woman and the life we've made. Of course, that's not to say we've done it alone. The Lab has been community-based and focused since day one and so many people have assisted us. We want to thank you all so much!

It's been a while since we've posted. We've been so busy that it's been hard to make extra time for the computer. We're getting caught up though so look for some new posts and some recent drafts to be cleaned up for presentation.

In Health, Joy and Liberation,
Gregg, (Angela and Aya)

Week 8 and a few details

It's business as usual at the Lab, which means it's incredibly busy. I've been stepping it up a bit to cover for Angela as she settles into her 9th week. Her "not just for morning sickness" kicked up a bit last Thursday as we we're preparing to head up to Boyne in Northern Michigan to cater the James-Pesta Wedding on Saturday. Friday was another rough day as we woke in the early am to pack and drive up. Angela is amazing! Even through her worst days yet she put together a Vegan Wedding for 80 people in an unfamiliar kitchen to rave reviews! Our dear friends John and Amy joined us on Saturday to assist us in putting it all together. The reception was held in the "back yard" of a house on the side of Boyne Mt and was beautiful. Mrs. Pesta praised our work in her toast and announced Aya to everyone. It was a great honor to be a part of this event and to stand next to Angela as she rocked it yet again. Mark and Beth are just awesome as well!

Last week we decided to stop offering am yoga as I want Angela to be able to get into her own rhythm of waking a sleeping. While our lifestyle can be a struggle it grants us the ability to work with our bodies and be flexible. We want to use this to the greatest advantage during Aya's gestation. If Angela needs to sleep a bit later on certain days now she is able to. We're going to resume our am classes when we open the studio in the new building.

I've been meaning to post a few small items here.

Though we are both open to Aya being a boy or a girl, we agree that this entity seems to have a feminine energy and we've started using "she" when talking about Aya. We're trying to keep it balanced out as we don't want to set up any expectations in ourselves or in Aya! Aya does feel very feminine though.

We also both feel that she's settled into the left side of Angela's uterine wall. We both practice Reiki and work with energy all day in our work. This gives us a slightly heightened sense of what is going on in the body and has assisted us in locating where Aya is setting up shop. And that's exactly how Angela describes how what is going on in her belly feels like. We've also read that the more active the development process is the more intense "not just for morning sickness" becomes.

I've started to spend at least some time everyday working and talking with Aya. On the 4th of July I read Angela and Aya Jack Parson's Freedom Is A Two Edged Sword, which for many reasons I feel is an appropriate first book and one that I read every 4th of July. More recently I have been communicating back and forth energetically. The process is quite subtle and technically resembles depth sonar. I'll send out a little energy with a particular signature and see it the similar energy comes back. In most cases here the energy comes back with greater focus. I am then "feeling" for energy signatures that don't originate within me and try to send those back as well. We seem to be playing catch in this way. It's amazing!

Life In The Lab Is Quite Different

I think that life in the Lab is a bit different than other places. As we move into our 8th week, and hopefully begin to post here on a regular basis, I've been thinking about our lifestyle and how blessed we are to be exactly where we are as Aya arrives. We are in a very unique position.

First, and most importantly, Angela and I are together 24/7. When we're working, which is pretty much constantly, we share the same desk and constantly bounce ideas off one another. We have created a very symbiotic relationship as far as work and life are concerned. Neither one of us has to remove ourselves from life to work. Angela partakes in the majority of the yoga classes I teach and I'm almost always by her side when she's teaching a class in the kitchen. I suppose that is a massive difference there.

In addition to this, as happens with most couples, we have established a psychic connection. We finish each others sentences and communicate non-verbally with a great deal of ease. This is fairly common, but our work with yoga, shamanism, reiki, and intuitive healing, have facilitated a more complex connection. I also spend a great deal of time in meditation and trance states and due to this have become more sensitive to more subtle reams. Angela helps to facilitate my work in this area and is very much connected to these realms as well. That's definitely unique!

Though certainly non the last uncommon thing about the Lab, but the last I'll mention here, is the fact that we exist in what is generally a public space. We pretty much wear everything on our sleeves here as there is no separation between life and work. We have our small private bedroom we affectionately call "the cave." I built an "L" shaped wall on carpeting so that a corner of our space conceals our bed. We get into the cave by sliding the wall open a bit and slipping in. This minimal and generally inaccessible personal space is a great boon to our work as we literally share our life with our students and clients. Nothing is hidden. All of the products we use, our recycling and composting, and our library are on display with purpose. Due to our dedication to this minimal, public and sustainable lifestyle and the fact that we're just plain broke, we happily live a monastic existence.

So, these three factors among many others give us a rare opportunity to observe Aya's gestation. Because we are together all the time we are both very aware of the process. For a typical working couple, the majority of the day is spent apart, so the father doesn't have constant, direct and immediate contact with the process. This is enhanced by our work and talents, from food prep to reiki, that deepen our awareness of the physical, mental and spiritual realms. We have already identified and are constantly interacting with Aya's energy and are certain a third mind has been active in our lives since conception. Finally, our open source lifestyle, as expressed in this blog, inspires us to share our experience and continue to live in service to our community. We are honored to share our observations, from the practical to the mind numbingly abstract, with you here.

Behind the Name: Message: "Meaning of Aya"

Behind the Name: Message: "Meaning of Aya": "In Japanese, it can mean 'colourful one' or 'beautiful', depending on the character used (Japanese has three scripts) In Korean, it may come from 'loved.' Aya is also a reasonably common Muslim first name. The verses of the Quran are also sometimes referred to as Aya's. In Old German, it can relate to 'sword' or the big rakes that are used on fields by farmers ('eg' in Dutch) Then there is the meaning of 'wisdom', as in Aya Sophia (the church/mosque in Istanbul) Aya was also a Sumerian goddess, wife of the sungod Shamash, or UTU."

Hebrew Names, Baby Name - Aya (Aiah)

Hebrew Names, Baby Name - Aya (Aiah): "A girl’s name (in the Bible: a boy’s name). buzzard (a type of raptor)."