Sometimes I wish we were filming a documentary or were on some bizzaro reality TV show. Only for the fact that I'd love to be able to share just how intense our life can become and how Angela, with solid intention, weaves it all together. The fact that, going into our third-trimester, she orchestrated a catering job of this size is phenomenal to me. Now, don't take me as chauvinist, I know that many women work their butts off throughout their pregnancy. That being said, there's a requisite focus and stamina to executing a large catering gig like DUCF, and I am again in awe of Angela's ability. Of course, I'd be jaw-dropped at her execution of this project even if we were not pregnant. So, we appear to be in some strange bonus round of Wide Eyed Awe with the baby on the way!
Speaking of Wide Eyed Awe and Aya, or little one, which I've taken to using. I think I've discovered one of the most sublime experiences in my life, and I've specialized in sublimity. Angela has been favoring sleep on her left and we've ended up shifting our positions so that she ends up spooning me. It's been quite cold here in Detroit so we've been snuggling up tightly. It is the sweetest thing I have ever known is to be snug up to Angela and to feel little one kicking and moving cradled between our two bodies. It's a sweetness with great depth, a very mystical depth.
I thrill in waking in the middle of the night in this position to allow my mind to vacillate between meditation and dreamspace. The shifts between these two states being driven by little one's heels and elbows as they thrust into my stomach. I find my awareness drawn to so many of the concepts and ideas I've worked with in the past. It does not surprise that so much of our wisdom and knowledge, not only stems from, but IS birth, regeneration, replication and so on. But, it does surprise that, though I thought I understood them, I didn't really get it until these recent late night sessions with Aya.
Of late, both in these session and in my waking mediation, I've been drawn towards the Tetragrammaton (Greek: τετραγράμματον word with four letters) is the Hebrew name for God, which is spelled (in Hebrew); י (yod) ה (heh) ו (waw) ה (heh) or יהוה (YHWH), it is the distinctive personal name of the God of Israel. Now, please bear in mind that my knowledge of Qabalah is rudimentary. In my teens, I assume like most studying esoterica, I professed a certain understanding of this mystical tradition. I did know a few things back then, but it is my continuous experiential work, now through yoga and shamanism, that has brought a few massive abstractions, like Tetragrammaton, to light.
For time's sake, I'll use this acceptable model from the Thelemapedia:
- The letter Yod is the first letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the father, who is Wisdom; he is the highest form of Mercury, and the logos, the creator of all worlds. Accordingly, his representative in physical life is the spermatozoon.
- The letter He is the second letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the mother, who is Understanding; the Universe is here resolved into its ultimate elements. Accordingly, his representative in physical life is the ovule.
- The letter Vau is the third letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the son, who is the personification of Beauty; an interpretation of the father in terms of the mind.
- The letter He serves double duty, and so it is too, the fourth letter of the name Tetragrammaton. This symbolizes the daughter, who is the Kingdom; the Universe as manifested to our physical senses.
So, that's a bit of what I find myself wrapped around as we lay with little one in the midst of manifestation between us. I'll share more as it comes and time permits. Blessings, Gregg