Of course, "me" writing time these days typically means writing about Angela and Aya. I'm loosing track of weeks because they are going so quickly. I want to say we're now at week 25? I do know that I'm obsessed. I feel like I should just issue forth a notice of apology for my fixation on Aya and his/her development and influence upon my world. If you thought I was obsessive about yoga, music, India, spirituality, art, 2012, or whatever the flavor of the month was, you haven't seen anything yet.
I've spent the majority of my life around childless couples and single guys. My path took me far from the graduate from high school, go to college, get married and have kids genre of being. I'm about to turn 39 and I'm so blessed to have taken the path less traveled as I feel totally set up to experience this transition in a way I never would have in my 20's. I'm also blessed to be in a position where I can take the time to get up at 3 and 7 am every morning and meditate and work with Aya while s/he goes through what appears to be an in utero yoga sequence.
I'm so thankful that I took the time to develop my skills with energy and subtle forces as I'm now beginning to "feel" the internal activity that really isn't reaching the surface. We have a great deal of kicking and punching, but there are also shoulder rolls and the flutter of fingers and toes. Obviously, when Angela is awake, I've been working on voice recognition as well, talking to Aya and vibrating Om. Every morning as Angela and I pray and chant together, I've been focusing the energy and vibration towards the womb. I can sense Aya's receptivity to the energy and his/her energy shifts to take it in. I could go on and on.
I've been reading up on infant massage and what the first few weeks are going to be like. I know it's going to be a steady stream of development and I'm gathering the info I'll need to be active and at least one step ahead. I found this Tennessee Williams quote yesterday that speaks to that immediate yet flexible approach:
It is almost as if you were frantically constructing another world while the world that you live in dissolves beneath your feet, and that your survival depends on completing this construction at least one second before the old habitation collapses.Of course, frantic survival depending on this motion gives it a little more weight than I'm going for, but you get the idea. I suppose this is just a stylized brazen approach to living in the moment, something we strive for here. But, I'm going to try to develop and maintain this mindset as I think it will assist me as I strive to sidestep expectation and cull the cultural drive to shape and influence this entity. I suspect that many developmental blocks stem from parents exerting their will upon the child. Much of this is unavoidable and during a culture war it eventually turns into a race to exert your influence upon the child before someone else does.
But with that said, I need to head into the Market and then put my official writing hat on.